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Couple Therapy - Before You Start

Couple therapy helps couples to understand unhelpful ways of being together so that they can make choices about how to relate to each other in ways that help to strengthen a secure attachment bond between the couple. Couples who are willing to explore alternate ways of understanding relationship dynamics will get the most from couple therapy. 


Couple therapy really starts when a couple decides that they are "all in" the relationship. Prior to this, it is hard to get the level of trust needed to go to the depth of openness and intimacy which provides enduring change.

Couple therapy is balanced and looks beyond the current predicament, conflict, differences or distance that the couple is facing into the reoccurring patterns and attachment needs of each partner.

Couple therapy can only be conducted when there is no serious abuse or violence in the relationship. There are services that help couples who are struggling with imbalances in power and control to help them gain greater safety and security.

It is rare that couples therapy is effective in only a few sessions. Depending upon the issues presented most evidence-based research indicates that a minimum of 16 sessions is needed for some couples and often longer to gain lasting change. Couple therapy works best if it is weekly and regular, long gaps between sessions may mean that the continuity of the work is lost. Please speak to me if you have difficulty attending regularly.

As part of couples therapy, I look at the triggering and central nervous system reactions of couples when they interact. As such, telehealth is a more difficult medium for couple therapy, although not impossible.

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